Quixotic

There is no one to blame but me Your attitude, your lack, your lameness Was apparent from the first time I asked for more than you wanted to give Which was your time You scolded me about how all important your job is And how I should never DARE to ask you to make time for me Foolishly, I thought surely that would change Then I asked you to spend time with my family You said you had to work You said you were much too busy   I made excuses and time ticked by Foolishly, I thought surely that would change I asked you to accompany me out of town My daughter had an event You said you really didn’t take time off for those kinds of things I grew accustomed of going alone Telling myself this is what people in a relationship do for one another; compromise Foolishly, I thought surely that would change We would break up for very good reasons You didn’t like my lifestyle Too much family, too many kids, too little travel You wanted to leave an...

After the magic disappeared You told me how I hold your Life back I was choked by your words Because it’s crazy as Gnarls Barkley That you think I’m that person Never, ever Have I been or will ever become who You make me out to be You tried to drown Me in your insults, accusations, And mudslinging I was almost stupid enough To make excuses for you To treat me like a bad child You deserve more Shit, I deserve more You told me how tired Jill Scott and the Fuzz Band was Ok I love them both! Now I’m just tired of you You think you are so much fucking better than me But the truth is you too short to ride a high horse Mean as a snake I don’t know why I stayed this long Take your trips Take your cruises Find someone who will allow you to dog them out Keep the Coach bag Keep the Coffee Maker I’m taking me   After all I should be used to being alone All the Holidays All the time You are too busy buildi...

I am having a really hard time admitting to myself and to this blog that I have still been dealing with my "sometime" girlfriend of the last 2 years going on 3...We have had drag down knock out fights some that are documented here..and then blissful new beginnings later on down the road. So what can I write about? I have faced the truth so many times. I have let go so many times. I have held on much more. Guess the only thing left to do is walk away and don't look back. As hard as that has been.. She is so angry at me. I mean really angry at me. Does she have a right to be? Sure. We have had alot of ups and downs. I understand that. However, what doesn't work for me is the constant accusations, insults, and general mud-slinging. We don't enjoy each other's company as much as we used to. We don't talk as much as we used to. We aren't friends as much as we used to be. We are declining. Much like a plane landing, a slow and steady drift to the ground. Li...

Arm wrestling the wind tip toe on mood swings run on sentences baffled Tall tales between us the truth taste better than ashes Relestless beginnings calm endings things that aren't mine are stolen CS Knight Productions Copyright 2012 I wanted to add this I found it on Facebook, it's amazing how things agree sometimes..

I'm not really big on dates, well not most dates. I have to admit I am fascinated by today's. I understand it will be another century before it happens again. So I guess I will just relish that I saw it, this century, during my lifetime. Today has been an unusually hard day. I found out my son isn't doing well in school and I'm worried about him and what to do. It's such a heavy subject, my son's life and the worry of not knowing exactly what to do to help him. I know he needs help, but I'm not sure what is left for me to try. All I can is pray. Then there was my recent road trip. I drove 9 hours north to Providence, Rhode Island to visit my nana. She is 84 yrs. old and her health has been declining. My mom, her daughter and I took to the highway to check on her. I left Rhode Island brokenhearted. I remember just staring at my nana, as she wiped away tears as we were leaving. I wanted to reach out, hug her again but either way I had to go. I have been sh...

Well, I've been bullshitting. I knew we had problems but allowed my emotions to get in the way of making the right decision. We have broken up so many times that I can't count them anymore. The last time though, you got mad at me for trying to move on, you called and stole all my energy to move on. I was weakened because I still have feelings for you. Now this time, I take full responsiblity for my own hurt feelings. At this point in our "relationship" I know who you are. I know how you can and often will hurt me with your words and mean spritied ways. You yelled at me for not having money to help you get your car fix, you complained about me asking you to come and visit me now that your car is fixed. You brought up old things I said from 2 years ago. It's clear we can never be together. I'm simply the wrong person for you. We can lie to each other, we can go on vacations, we can txt and call through out the day, but the fact will remain: I'm no good for ...

I drove around for 4 hours waiting for you to get off work circles I didn't have much just a card just some flowers just all that I had You wanted a cruise You lied to your friends and said you went to Florida You said that's where a person who cared would have taken you I sat near tears A jackass For thinking my best would be good enough You dragged me at midnight to a Casino I was tired too remember the right hotel but you yelled and screamed how everything sucked I felt so stupid so helpess like an old man fraile and gullable Bleeding Lonely Hurting Empty I finally left at 5 am I smashed the tulips I took the card and what's left of my self-esteem Go to Florida Go on a Cruise Go to Hell