Quixotic

So I landed a new job and started on June 1, my plan to finish my masters degree and find a new job in January all panned out. Working in the city is way different from working in my lil country town where I live. So far though it's been great. It's so rewarding to go back and read all my post about growth and moving forward then to see my dreams materialize within a few months. I am very thankful. I graduated in May, and had already been offered and accepted a new position. I celebrated my graduation Mother's Day weekend with my family and my partner right by side. How ironic was it for me to have received the same card from my BFF and my G/F? It was a trip, and of course my BFF who has NO SENSE at all, was thinking my G/F went into her purse and stole the card she bought for me and gave it to me, bc they were seated next to each other. LOL, she was half serious, but made for a very FUNNY joke at the table. It was wonderful having all my family stand by my side as I accom...

Holding to you sometimes is like catching the tide with my bare hands Slipping through the ideas of your lips Tasting the salt of your touch My sandy desires  soak the horizon Mesmerized like sea captains to the call of your love Lullaby into the sweet calm of your eyes   Stay rushing beautifully wet with me Copyright CS Knight 2011

I'm sitting here thinking I never saw this shit coming I was so caught up in your way of smoothly telling me what the fuck to do I always ended up apologizing for things I never thought I was guilty of Just to keep the peace Just to keep the noise Just to keep you I always made sure I went back over the way I said or didn't say things I have allowed myself to dance a dance I will call: "just to keep her" Just to keep her I changed all my ways Just to keep her I changed my patterns Just to keep her I hide from the truth of all our misunderstandings Just to keep her I sit in my car talking and pleading Just to keep her I closed my office door and convinced her I loved her Just to keep her I cried alone, wishing and hoping things would change Just to keep her I called and called Just to keep her I almost lost myself Now it's to the point I don't think I can keep her She says everything I do and say is wrong She said she hate...

We have had an adventure 250 mph 1000 foot drops included heart-pounding moment of silence and what do you just say? all make us the colorful couple we have become more like training or a crash course in compromise I've learned so much from you and I feel changed from knowing you We went out to dinner held hands exchanged cards and celebrated our anniversary I want many more I love you EJF Copyright CS Knight 2011

i don't know why i kid myself i don't want to leave you i don't know why i hide from my own thoughts i don't know why i can't just be sometimes always moving from one place to the next searching for growth and answers i have to ask myself am i afraid to win? am i afraid to be happy? why do i always hold myself back from success well today i'm launching into the abyss of confidence in who i am all of my inhibitions concerns hang-ups discarded and just free fall into me seeking nothing but inner peace

It's hard to believe that just 1 month ago we were so damn happy Now I'm sitting here wondering how can I stay? You say, I haven't given you what you need I don't give you enough understanding The thing is when I try to give you understanding You silently leave me sitting in my wonderment I can honestly say this is the first time I didn't see it coming It felt so good along the way I ignored every taste of discomfort disillusioned I happily went along with your bullshit Now I can see that what is coming Is much worse Way more lonely then the lonely nights I already have I gotta learn not to text you Or care as much I caught myself today staring into the space before my eyes stunned and kinda stupid thinking about all the things you said to me I just don't think I have the strength to trust you the way that I need to You can blame my ex wife the way you always have she lied, cheated and mislead me for 8 years Now when you say you going ...

My partner took me to NYC for my birthday on February 12. When we first arrived, I was in awe, as our hotel was right in the middle of downtown NYC and although it was 12 midnight...it was after all the city that never sleeps and the hustle and bustle was on. I saw people walking, talking, and waiting in line at Foot Locker. I snapped this picture as we arrived, its the Empire State Building.  The next morning, I woke up, and I was bouncing in the bed with excitement. I was ready to hit the city and find an adventure. And I did, my partner dropped me off (parking doesn't exist, LOL) at the nearest Star Bucks so I could make the coffee run, the closest one was in Times Square! I stepped into Times Square and my jaw dropped, the full color billboards, the taxi's honking, and hundreds of people swarmed around me. I felt like I was on a set of a movie and cameras were rolling, the energy was surrreal. I loved it. After taking some photos, like a true tourist! I walk...