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Hey, I'm 34 years. I've been a lesbian most of my life...I'm here to share my story...

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Pain and the Promise

In 1997, my 19-year-old brother Joel Joash was murdered in Virginia. This event would turn my family upside down and cause a lifelong battle with grief and heartache. The night he died is etched into the fabric of who I am today. Meaning, that event forever altered who I am in this lifetime. My brother was selling drugs.  My  mother—with all her best efforts couldn’t get him to stop selling drugs. The night he died, he had a confrontation with another drug dealer that would lead to his shooting death. I don’t want to re-live the facts as they are from that night. They cause too much trauma. I want to focus on how I have made it through the pain all these years later. I was 21 when he died, old enough to understand how the justice system failed us, how my brothers unlawful behavior contributed to his own death.   In the beginning of the grief process, all I could do was cry, probably through the first year after. I couldn’t talk about what happened to him, I couldn’t l...
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Black Panther-more than a movie a movement

IMBD Link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1825683/?ref_=nv_sr_1 I was so enchanted after watching Black Panther on the day it opened with my 22-year-old son, I couldn’t wait to return to Wakanda—a fictitious African country blessed with a mineral that sustains life and gives its inhabitants technological advancements far beyond anything we have seen in previous Marvel movies, including Iron Man.   The movie starts with a beautiful conversation between parent and child, and soon movie goers are whisked away to a land we ALL want to live in. Wakanda represents the community African Americans should have, one that isn’t filled with drug dealers, poverty, and suffering. The story line goes on to tell the journey of T’Challa (aka The Black Panther) the newly crowned King of Wakanda. All is well in the Kingdom…until a secret reveals there is another challenger to the throne and off we go to another ritual battle. Mesmerized by the stunning special effects and brilliant black ...
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How many years did you say??

My son grew up knowing how much I love him and he still does. He also had wonderful opportunities to learn, grow, and have success during his early years. I spent countless hours encouraging him and providing guidance. Most of all, I set an example for him, he watched me earn a BS then an MBA, work and earn a decent living which provided comfort for him and his sister. I also took my children to church. So that they could have faith in God. My son had every opportunity to shine. Despite my parenting efforts, he ended in prison by the time he was 19 years old. I remember sitting in the courtroom with my stomach in knots, in a surreal fog as the sheriff lead my son out in front of the judge, shackled and handcuffed. My heart sank into the bottom of the Atlantic—never to forgive myself, how the hell did I let this happen? Then a quiet voice reminds me: I gave my son everything I had as a mother to give, love, support, encouragement, he made some bad decisions—despite my best intentio...
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