Quixotic

There is no one to blame but me Your attitude, your lack, your lameness Was apparent from the first time I asked for more than you wanted to give Which was your time You scolded me about how all important your job is And how I should never DARE to ask you to make time for me Foolishly, I thought surely that would change Then I asked you to spend time with my family You said you had to work You said you were much too busy   I made excuses and time ticked by Foolishly, I thought surely that would change I asked you to accompany me out of town My daughter had an event You said you really didn’t take time off for those kinds of things I grew accustomed of going alone Telling myself this is what people in a relationship do for one another; compromise Foolishly, I thought surely that would change We would break up for very good reasons You didn’t like my lifestyle Too much family, too many kids, too little travel You wanted to leave and I

After the magic disappeared You told me how I hold your Life back I was choked by your words Because it’s crazy as Gnarls Barkley That you think I’m that person Never, ever Have I been or will ever become who You make me out to be You tried to drown Me in your insults, accusations, And mudslinging I was almost stupid enough To make excuses for you To treat me like a bad child You deserve more Shit, I deserve more You told me how tired Jill Scott and the Fuzz Band was Ok I love them both! Now I’m just tired of you You think you are so much fucking better than me But the truth is you too short to ride a high horse Mean as a snake I don’t know why I stayed this long Take your trips Take your cruises Find someone who will allow you to dog them out Keep the Coach bag Keep the Coffee Maker I’m taking me   After all I should be used to being alone All the Holidays All the time You are too busy building a

I am having a really hard time admitting to myself and to this blog that I have still been dealing with my "sometime" girlfriend of the last 2 years going on 3...We have had drag down knock out fights some that are documented here..and then blissful new beginnings later on down the road. So what can I write about? I have faced the truth so many times. I have let go so many times. I have held on much more. Guess the only thing left to do is walk away and don't look back. As hard as that has been.. She is so angry at me. I mean really angry at me. Does she have a right to be? Sure. We have had alot of ups and downs. I understand that. However, what doesn't work for me is the constant accusations, insults, and general mud-slinging. We don't enjoy each other's company as much as we used to. We don't talk as much as we used to. We aren't friends as much as we used to be. We are declining. Much like a plane landing, a slow and steady drift to the ground. Li