Quixotic

My partner and I had a wonderful weekend. We spent most of it cuddled up. I'm so in love with this woman; and anytime we get to spend together feels wonderful. The one thing I consider the most, at this stage in my life, almost mid-thirties..I'm much more in tune with my feelings and emotions. I'm just so much more aware of things, quite frankly, I just didn't care about before in my younger days. I guess there is a coming of knowledge thing going on as I age. In some areas it is very good, I'm able to communicate my needs and be assertive. In same areas its not so good..I'm aware of the things that aren't quite the way I want them to be, like the way she doesn't open up about how she feels all the time. However, that is where patience and understanding plays a major role. So although I am aware of some of the idiosyncrasies, I'm in no rush to go looking for another relationship, I want to work at sustaining this relationship, as long as I'm bein

It started like pinky's above a tea cup cute dainty necessary I was ohhh ahhhh'd into you I find you adorable irresistible addictive Hurts never feel like pain drowning in the pleasure what happened? I don't know if i'm crying for the way you touch me or because I'm lacking Either way I just love when you hold me Even if you fuss or cuss I long for the reconnect sometimes its a text sometimes its a kiss sometimes its an orgasm leaving me perplexed and engaged in your ways I hope I don't land on some Jagged passion you create and I love to taste all stupid and craving seconds Copyright 2010

No sooner then me declaring she is my soulmate, did proverbal hell break loose. First the conversation about the holidays came up, we couldn't have two completely different approaches to them! She prefers to not celebrate them at all, and of course I'm wild about both Thanksgiving and Christmas. So our pre-holiday discussion didn't go over very well. It will take some adjusting on both our parts, but it was more than the sour discussion that has my eyes rolling, and my tongue sucking my teeth. It was her attitude, she was somewhat distant, cold, and unfair in our discussions. I'm hoping it was her fustration..overall though...I'm starting to get pissed off. I'm trying to take all things into account. This is a new relationship, we are still in the getting to know each other phase, and I know that she is worth some of the headaches we go through in our discussions. At the very least, I'm glad we can discuss things. I just hope I don't "check out&qu

She reaches parts of me No one else ever has She loves me like no one else tried Nurturing kisses of peace I'm submerged in her care Sometimes I just sit back and think of her smile Wide as the moon she has brought to me perpetual thoughts of her and like high tide she pulls me into her parallel thoughts we connect more like souls embracing in her touch I hear the universe in her kiss I taste the ocean In her presence I am more aware of me than I have been She brings me to me in her Copyright 2010 CS Knight Dedicated to EJF

Icicles tease funny bones lips swallow my screams sweat evaporates in cuddles sleep spooned like scoops twirls of memories open like nostrils giant lollipops tangy tongues magnetized we like roots grow into love... Copyright 2010 CS Knight

After the stormy parts of my relationship have calmed down..I'm just thinking my life over. The next direction I want to go in, the next job, the next level of success. I hope my relationship will continue to be a positive factor in the scheme of things. So far it has been kinda of a distraction, and then a bit of motivation. My partner and I have talked about building a future together and I'm optimistic about that. There is so much that I enjoy about our relationship. I can't expect it to be perfect, just a positive force in my life. I'm going to continue doing my part.

you used to be afraid in retraction comforted in expansion or just suspended waiting finicky complexed safe we reached a place to hug often unweary unscathed doubtless your skin healed me like molten ashes cooling disdain looks from mountains crumbling finally Copyright 2010

After many hours of talking to my partner, we were able to communicate our feelings, and now our rocks will be our foundation. Our trouble has brought us closer and increased our commitment to the relationship. I couldn't be more happy. I really love my partner. We don't see eye to eye on everything. We don't need to. All we need to do is love each other, and be supportive. She means the world to me. I'm willing to give more than I ever have as compared to some of my past relationships. I feel like I have finally matured enough to love her the way she needs to be loved. So many times, I just wasn't ready..I thought I was..but I wasn't ready to love in my past relationships at the level I needed to be at. However, each time I learned something..something that has helped me love my partner today. We had a wonderful weekend together, and I feel like we are on the right track. Go team love.

Needle points restless place bright inklings un-noticed yearnings billow through silent caves suffocating sighs blackned impulse itchy desire rare She is silent Copyright

Something has gone wrong. I know I made a major mistake, and maybe that is the something. Now one mistake leads to her doing all sorts of, what I will call, retaliation tactics. Yesterday, I text'd her and it took 3 hours for her to respond. When we finally did talk, I wasn't in the best of moods and I said something smart. I guess I have to start accepting, that our relationship might be irretrievable..And largely, it would be my fault. I'm so hurt right now. Yeah, I made the mistake so now that gives her a free pass to treat me like shit? I guess so...We keep saying we are going to do better, fix it and have a decent relationship. I just don't know if that is possible anymore. At this point, we are on the rocks.

distant miles in your smile I just talked It wasn't until 2 days later you told me I had handwritten a letter to you in sand Crystals slide down your cheeks Numb I ran for toilet paper today I'm weary Your room crumbled as I watched you sleep Severed no stiches We lay in our illusion Copyright 2010 CS Knight

We laugh. We cry. We fight. We fester. I don't know where we went wrong. Things used to so beautiful, so tasty. Now it's just bitterness and anger. I keep thinking I need to change this, or change that. But the reality is: maybe we just aren't right for each other. The one single thought that I don't want to think. Even now, like someone spinning me around too fast, I feel queasy and dizzy..a bit lightheaded. Why is that thought so difficult? Because it would force me to accept, no matter how much we love each other, it won't be enough. And that's a very sober and poignant revealation. So now the question becomes...who will let go first. OR will there be a miracle between us? I don't want to let go...but do I need to?

I love the times you just hold me mending my weariness and refreshing my greatness                                                                              the ambers of your touch somber and graceful tickle my restlessness ease the injustice sprinkle your lips over my bravery I will bring you life I will repay you in fire we lay magnitized in soft devoured maddness comforted surrounded by concepts of us Never leave my side Copyright 2010 CS Knight

We finally made up last night! We are both so head strong..independent and stubborn...we have an understanding about the change in her work schedule, which could mean less time on the weekends, but I can't be mad because she has to work. I felt that I was a bit unreasonable..and I needed to check myself.  As far as the socialzing goes..we will talk about that again later. I don't expect it to be an issue, I trust her. Compromsing is so much easier when you are on the receiving end of the compromise...anyway..its all kisses now..I missed my bae..