Psalm 23

August 12th, 2013, I started as a Business Intelligence Analyst for a large university. It was the  job I prayed for. It was the job that blessed my family financially. It was the promotion I was proud to share with my mom, my friends, and my colleagues. My new job would require relocation to a large city and the excitement I felt was like hitting the job lottery. With my whole heart, I packed my house, hired movers, and awaited my new beginning. I found an amazing apartment, a palatial 2 bedroom 2 bath, with 9ft vaulted ceilings, garden tub, fireplace, and bar sitting area. It was the apartment I dreamed of and would be very proud to host gatherings and holidays. I remember walking out onto the balcony of that apartment after everything was moved in and feeling blessed, worthy, and that finally all my hard-work, faith, and perseverance brought me to that moment. It was a powerful feeling and I cherished the opportunity to be promoted, provide for my family, and enhance my skill set as an database analyst. I felt as though God answered my prayers with finesse and favor. 

I showed up for work, natural hair freshly twisted, new clothes, new shoes, and since I had been working out, I was a nice size 8 and felt strong, vibrant, and very thankful for God bringing me to the pinnacle of my potential at 36 years old (so I thought, there is so much more for me to do).  I greeted my new co-workers, all friendly and ready to support my new role. I remember my supervisor asking me about signing paperwork for training for the software system I would be using on a daily basis. I just put the paperwork on my desk and started decorating my office, learning my way around, scheduling time to take a picture for my new badge. I set up my voicemail and my computer. I hung my MBA on the wall. I sat back in my chair and black girl magic was in the air. 

Eventually, I settled down and read over the paperwork for my training, it would take me to the Queen City, in NC. I reserved a car through the university's fleet. My travel date was set for September 4, 2013. About 3 weeks away. I would spend the next 3 weeks attending meetings, taking notes, meeting the VP of my department. I would meet so many faces across campus and begin the work of becoming acquainted with my surroundings, cultural, and expectations for my role. I love living in the city, I am just riding around like a kid at DisneyLand at this point, except this isn't a fairytale, it's real. 

September 4, 2013 arrives and I’m packed for my trip. I have a few friends in the Queen City and set up lunch/dinner plans. I pick up my fleet car, a 2013 white Ford Fusion with 7 miles, two-tone leather seats. It’s early, so before my trip I take a walk around a 2 mile trail next to a lake, its beautiful. I take some pictures. I visit a store called Harmony—it’s a whole foods place with organic products, fresh flowers, and unique cards. I remember spinning the card display around and just looking at all the pictures, not reading the cards. I buy some dried apples and get on the road for my training, its around 11a. I’m on I85 South traffic is light and steady. I decided to stop for some lunch at Bojangles—a girl can have a cheat meal bc I’m planning to hit the hotels gym later. It’s 12:30 pm, I get back on the highway and drive for another 1 hour of the 2 hour drive.

 At 1:30pm, I look underneath the tractor trailer traveling in the right lane next to me, suddenly I hear tractor trailer brakes “screeeeeechhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”  fills the air, I watch in horror as the tractor trailer next to my car collided with another tractor trailer in the 3rd lane and they BOTH cross into my lane. All the windows shatter in the car I'm driving as the tractor trailers make contact with my car pushing me across 2 lanes of traffic into the cement barrier. Inside my car, I am calm, I am not screaming, I simply look toward heaven and say these thoughts in my mind “ Lord if today is the day I met you, I am happy for the life you gave me, and I love you and my family”. And no sooner than that thought crossed my mind, the accident stopped, no more brakes, no shattering glass, just silence. The tractor trailers had my car wedged between metal and the cement barrier between I85 North and I85 South. I was conscious. I was not bleeding. I was alive. I was rushed to the ER, a total of 5 cars were involved in the accident. Before the EMT arrived, a nurse was a few cars behind me (God is very strategic) and talked me through the moments waiting for help to arrive. I asked her if she can call my mom for me, she did, and the woman told my mom there had been an accident. I could hear the woman talking with my mom, “yes” …..ummm “no”,then she handed the phone to me. My mom asked her two questions, am I alive and am I bleeding? My mom, with her voice shaking with fear, I told her what I could remember. The EMT arrives, my mom says she is on the way, a 2 hour drive away. I give the nurse her phone back, the nurse stabilizes my neck and back. I ride to the ER with my phone still navigating to my hotel. I never made it to training. I remember crying as the EMT’s lifted me onto a stretcher, I thank God for my life, my survival and I promise to make the next 40 years of my life count for something. Over the next 5 years I would be diagnosed with a long list of back, shoulder, and neck injuries. I cannot return to work. I have to eventually move out of the new apartment because I couldn’t walk up the 3 floors to my place. I remember signing the lease and not caring the apartment was on the 3rd floor—I mean I didn’t even think about it. I am in constant back pain. I painfully work through physical therapy. I cannot drive for 3 months. My mom, my daughter, and the young lady who twisted my hair for my first day of work—the only person I know at my apartment complex help me get to the store, carry my bags, and take care of me. 

In a fraction of a second, my entire world changed. BUT GOD. I hired a lawyer to fight the insurance company and then my “former” employer who separated me from my position less than a year after the accident. I am caught up in a hurricane of doctors, case managers, adjustors, attorneys, and pain. I begin praying Psalm 23 everyday. I realized that my job, my education, my money weren’t my shepherds—it was God and God alone. I read Joel Osteen emails daily. I call my mom when I feel like giving up, the insurance company employees were NOT nice people to deal with. My former employer’s HR department were vicious. I was in fact, David facing Goliath—and yes that is pretty much how it ended. 

So today, on the anniversary of my accident, I am thankful that I have 5 years of extra hugs from my children, mom, and loved ones. I am here to tell you that God can move mountains, people, tractor trailers whatever is in your way. On June 27, 2018 I was on my way to my attorney’s office for mediation for my case and Jakalyn Carr’s song “You Win” came on my radio, first time I ever heard it. That song brought me to tears, how timely I joke with God as I am driving. God is a friend, a comforter, and a fighter! He put me on the mind of people that could change my situation for the BETTER.  He blocked every underhanded attack from the insurance company. He helped me to see just how limitless He is. Today I look back over the pain, the stress, and the disappointments with a smile, why? Because God brought me out stronger and with more faith that I could ever had otherwise. Things didn’t work out the way I planned, but God used everything that happened for my good, Romans 8:28 “ all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord, and are called according to his purpose”. Today, I am grateful, faithful, and stand to tell you, God can do ANYTHING.