WTF??

I know I have been going back and forth with my current relationship. We swing from working things out to barely speaking. Of course I think it's unhealthy. Of course I think I need to try to work it out. I just don't get it. Sometimes I feel like all of our problems from the past never let us go. I feel like we struggle because maybe we just aren't compatiable. I struggle. I cry. I let go. I hold on. I'm torn. Am I afraid to let go and start over? Maybe. Am I in love and want to work things out because I thought we had something? I don't know. One thing is for sure, I'm very confused and angry. The arguments are bad. Really bad. We both say such hurtful things. Maybe our relationship is a lost cause; beyond repair. Then sometimes I find hope in our convos, when we aren't each trying to be right. Trying to make a point. We are two very different people. In my mind I'm thinking we can work through our differences, we can find understanding between us. Then lately, I just want to let go because it's too hard. It's too much when you don't see me for who I really am. It's too hard to live in silence because I'm afraid to talk about how I feel. It's too hard to pretend that I'm ok with alot of what goes on between us. Except everytime I try to leave, you ask me to stay. Then everytime you try to leave I ask you to stay. What do we really have? I never feel good enough for you. You are always telling me how much I fuck up. I'm always apologizing for shit that is long gone. At what point do I just give up and move on?