Quixotic

I'm beyond regret I feel down right stupid for allowing you to treat me the way you did Sitting outside of your place waiting for you like a teenager; Being neglected for hours as you withdrew from me You said you had to work Yet, the work was always undone You never wanted to spend time with my family You made up excuses to block any closeness and I let you Instead you bragged about your exes and me spellbound by the love I thought I had let you Where is my self-esteem? Why did I stay as long as I did? After two days of thinking so much is clear You took advantage of my feelings for you you trampled my thoughts, my emotions because I let you Me, I thought if I kept trying, kept showing you love, that I would be accepted and the love would be returned Instead you slyly pushed me further and further away it was subtle.. we didn't spend time the way we used to our conversations dried up and our days became predictable Meanwhile, I blam

I cy, silent, and sleepless I knelt down to faint after brokeness suffocated everything I wanted to call you a bitch but really I just wanted to stop hurting two days I woke up crying two nights I tossed and turned in the words of our last agrument I ached and starved by myself I wrote some shit on a yellow legal pad I stared at my phone and hoped you called so I could ignore you I talked myself out of cussing you out through a text message I'm angry with myself for trying to convince you I was the right person for you but really I was never the right person for you And you let me know it everytime you rejected me pushed me away and pointed out all the mistakes I made I lived on egg shells breathed in your contempt and felt every stab of resentment you had for me Yet, in the months prior to yesterday I lived in a state of limbo suspended by my feelings for you and the reality of what we didn't have trying to prove how much I cared, ho