Evolving

February has always been a very special month for me. First of all, my birthday is this month and I love birthday's, especially mine. Lately, I've found myself relaxing..yes relaxing, not getting all worked up over things that usually stress me out. I'm starting to realize that all that stressing never really solves anything. I'm focusing my energy on one word: PROGRESS. And so far, I feel like I'm on my way to accomplishng my career goals. Ive been submitting applications left and right and I'm waiting for responses.

My relationship...ohhhhh the unpredictable circumstances. Well lately, we have made some PROGRESS. Actually I got really pissed about somethings and wanted to end it, she came over to my house at 1am, and well we talked...we ended up getting back together and that experience really helped to get us out of the rut we had fallen into. I think with her and I, we have to find a way to peacefully disagree and work through our differences. I think that is the point of any relationship, any meaningful relationship.

My own personal attitude has had a major impact on how I respond to so much of what has been going on. I struggle with depression from time to time, so I have to be very careful how I deal with things. Writing is so theraputic. Talking to my partner is a major plus; the trouble is hopefully we are on the up and up and not the down and out.  My hope is that one day we are able to be consistent with being able to depend on each other. And I think we are on the way to that because during one of our "disconnected" times, we put our issues aside and we helped each other through some other difficulties we were having.

I know I said her love was lackluster, however, at the end of the day, she has been there for me and that is very important. Sometimes I tend to see what I want to see to be right or make a point. I have to grow and accept that she isn't perfect and neither and I. Guess, I'm evolving.