well it's a New Year

It's a New Year, but unfortunately things aren't all that new. Now, I'm not going to whine like a baby. I'm just observing how many of my relationships and situations have eased into the new year right along with the idea of starting over. I'm going to be positive. I want to make this year, a year that I make progress in my personal life and reach my career and relationship goals.

In fact, I didn't need a new year to change my attitude about things I didn't like or agree with in 2010. For starters my relationship has seen ALOT of ups and downs and I'm just not sure how to take it anymore. At one point I was determined not to let the status of the relationship have an effect on other things in my life, but I found that really difficult to do. So now, we are just taking things one day at a time. I haven't stepped away..or indulged in my infamous "check out" (that's when I just become indifferent about the relationship). I'm much more mature and really want to work things out. We had a sit down talk about her husband, and she says, he is strictly there to help with her mom, who needs medical help. The only saving grace with that was, she hadn't had her husband at her home UNTIL her mom moved in about 2 months ago. They have been separated for 7 years. I'm still pissed that he comes around. I just hope I'm not being naive. I don't believe anything is going on physically between them, but I think there is some emotional stuff, and I'm uncomfortable with that. The deliemma is, do I deal with being uncomfortable or do I implement the 80/20 rule??

And my deep feelings for my partner have more than likely clouded my judgement, however, I'm not stupid and I will continue to ask questions and deal with the facts. I can say my partner is honest and decent. I think those are the two reasons I have fought so hard for this relationship.  Ultimately, we both genuinely love and respect each other and that's a good foundation for us to keep trying.